It has been reported by In Touch Weekly that 32 year old Gosselin proposed to his 22 year old girlfriend with a $180 thousand ring.
Now, my first thoughts when I heard that Jon from “Jon and Kate and all those fucking Half Asians” was banging at 22 year old was:
Shocking, I know. I felt this way because God cursed this poor son of a bitch with like 4 times the acceptable amount of children and a raging bitch wife.
So I cheered when I heard he found a piece of ass who had a Pharaoh’s Tomb that wasn’t as wide as the platform gaps on the Long Island Rail Road. (Kate Gosselin should probably walk around with a sign that says “Watch Your Step, Watch The Gap” so that people don’t fall inside of her vagina.)
But then I see that she actually looks like this:
and he’s already getting MARRIED?
Come to think of it, if I had a woman destroy my life as much as that slut Kate ruined his, I’d probably go gay.
Nah, I’d probably just sleep with copious amounts of women and wear NINE condoms to ensure my super sperm doesn’t put another 12 buns in the fucking oven.
So, For Sure NOT Jon Gosselin, For Sure NOT his Girlfriend, For Sure NOT Kate.
But For Sure the 8 Little Halflings. They are like mudbloods from Harry Potter. Only Asian instead of wizards.