Texting Teen Falls Down Manhole


We all know that walking and texting is a tough combination — but a Staten Island teen learned the hard way when she fell into an uncovered sewer manhole while trying to send a message.

Now, the family of Alexa Longueira, 15, intends to sue.

The girl suffered a fright and some scrapes on her arms back after she dropped into the hole on Victory Boulevard.

Ah, Natural Selection at its finest.  Darwin would be proud, Mother Nature.

See, back in the day, that slut Mother Nature used to weed out the weaker species through primal means.  The slower and weaker animals were easily hunted, and eventually weeded out of existence.

Nowadays, Mother Nature needs to get creative.  It’s not like someone is running around town hunting everyone from Staten Island (What a great idea….)

So instead, she has cooked up the perfect storm to weed out chicks from Staten Island, Jersey and Westchester:

1. It all started with running water and sophisticated sewage systems.  Manholes were installed, and this allowed for a potential hole in the ground at any given moment.

2.  Fake nails.  Much harder for these trash bags to effectively type on a cell phone with their long orange curly nails.

3.  The evolution of the Text message.  If this was 5-8 years ago, she would have been using a Nextel.  Her head would have been on a swivel, as Direct Connect allows you to walk and talk at the same time.  So Mother Nature created the Blackberry Messenger, which is the new fad for this species.  Head down, typing to her friend Gina about how that slut Janine hooked up with that asshole Frankie.

Combining the inability to type with the nails, the uncovered manhole, and the dramatic text message fight, this Staten Island broad had no chance.

For Sure Survival of the Fittest

~ Shout out to choot for the link


2 Responses to Texting Teen Falls Down Manhole

  1. cho-caine says:

    i bet she was sexting

  2. […] Earlier this week FSN introduced the Staten Island Trash Bag that fell in a manhole while texting […]

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