BERLIN (Reuters) – A badger in Germany got so drunk on over-ripe cherries it staggered into the middle of a road and refused to budge, police said on Wednesday. A motorist called police near the central town of Goslar to report a dead badger on a road — only for officers to turn up and discover the animal alive and well, but drunk.
Police discovered the nocturnal beast had eaten cherries from a nearby tree which had turned to alcohol. Having failed to scare the animal away, officers eventually chased it from the road with a broom.
Now we all know my stance on PETA, but it’s stories like this that remind me that animals and us humans are more alike than we’d like to think.
I mean just last weekend I got BLACKED on some watermelon soaked in vodka and ended up laying in the middle of the road. People thought I was dead too and they kept yelling “get that beast out of the road.” Fuck, the police even tried to shoo me away with a broom. And by broom I mean tazer.
But I mean seriously, take a look at this montage of Drunk Animals:
You’re telling me you’ve never been drunk as a skunk elephant like the big fella at the 1:12 mark? Holding on for dear life convinced that the ground itself isn’t wide enough for you to balance on?
Next thing you know we’re gonna hear stories about this old Drunk Badger hooking up with Fat Lady Badgers and regretting it in the morning.
For Sure Drunk Humans and Drunk Badgers Are Similar