Cut The Shit, Sweetheart

The whole world is now sobbing over this little broad and her 2 sentence speech.  Pipe down, honey.  This acting performance was just about as bad as your “father’s” in The Wiz. First off, this bitch is white.  Like white-white, not half white.  That’s because MJ wasn’t even her dad and the f’n mom was a surrogate too.  Give me 5-1 odds and I’m comfortable throwing down a hundred that these kids are actually cyborgs.

But let’s pretend for a moment that Michael Jackson’s dick was able to shoot anything other than Pixie Dust and colored sprinkles and he actually reproduced and created this chick.

“”Ever since I was born, daddy has been the best father you could ever imagine”

Really, Paris?  Really? That’s all your youthful exuberant mind could muster?  You set your mind to it, trying to create any sort of fantastical creation to play your father in the land of make believe, and you couldn’t do any better than the Child Molesting Porcelain Monkey From Jumanji?


These kids are so fucked.  I love how Diana Ross didn’t even show up.  She was like “NO FUCKING WAY am I taking these little fucks under my wing.  I’m sixty five goddamn years old and do you KNOW how much therapy for these cyborgs is gonna cost?”

Oh and you know who else can suck it?  Brooke Shields.


Maybe if she just banged him when they dated MJ woulda realized that having sex with girls is f’n sweet and his whole fiasco of a life coulda been avoided.

Matter of fact, F this entire funeral.  I’m receiving word that, in an unprecedented move, FSKY Airways is offering FREE one way tickets to the FSKY Jungle to the 25,000 people who were in or around the Staples Center for Michael Jackson’s Funeral.

When the FSKY Air CEO was asked why his airline was extending such a generous offer to the thousands of assholes putting on this dog-and-pony show, he simply responded:

“Because they need to kill themselves”

The entire funeral procession needs to Kill Itself.



13 Responses to Cut The Shit, Sweetheart

  1. BC says:

    Thank god! I was beginning to think I was the only cold-hearted bastard out there who wasn’t touched by this Paris “Jackson” pretend speech. If you look closely I am pretty sure you can see Janet whispering her lines to her. If you were gonna send a child actor up there to pretend to be MJ’s daughter you could at least have sprung for Dakota Fanning or Miley Cyrus or some other chick who could at least sell it and make it believable.

  2. cmac says:

    magic johnson won 5 nba championships, 3 mvps, was a 12 time all-star, named to the hall of fame and nba 50th anniversary all-time team………………………………………………………..but the most memorable moment of his life was watching jacko eat a bucket of KFC.

    hey magic, remember that time you beat AIDS; yeah that was pretty sweet too.

    FS overexaggeration.

  3. Timmaaaaay says:

    Ok, let’s throw this out there since we’re all keeping it real now…

    I can’t wait till these kids grow up- except for the youngest a.k.a “Blanket” …you know that kid’s gonna kill himself- I’ll put the odds down now.

    The middle kid is gonna put out a book with some gay title like “Man In the Mirror”.

    And..the girl, Paris, is gonna be a serious smokeshow, but mess herself up worse than Amy Winehouse and tell an interview later it’s because of her celebrity.

    In conclusion, fuck them-except for Blanket..RIP in advance.

  4. mugsy says:

    I can be crude and heartless at times but losing a parent is no joke, adopted or not.

  5. MV says:

    im actually ashamed that I havent been more outspoken about this fucking travesty

    some dbag at my office was tearing up when watching the funeral on tv….are you fucking serious?…..this is the same fuck who in all liklihood touched little kids, shook a baby out a window and got 150 plastic surgeries to make himself look white, right?

    And all these cocksuckers talking at his funeral…hey maybe one of you should have said something like….”uhh michael maybe you should stop doing so many drugs youre keeping 3 seperate cartels in business”……..”hey michael, dude, i dont really think you need MORE plastic surgery, you basically look white at this point”…..”hey michael, umm youre a pedofile, maybe adopting kids isnt the best idea in the world”

    FSN michael jackson and FSN all the greedy publicity starved fake dickfaces at his funeral

  6. Tmo says:

    Did anyone else like how Al Sharpton, or “The Good Reverend” as I like to call him, single handedly gave this weiner toucher credit for Tiger Woods, Oprah, and Obama’s success?

  7. BC says:

    BTW… today is the 7-month mark for

    Trip down memory lane:

    Not exactly your best work.

    How this piece of trash site made it over half a year is a travesty… and the fact that we have yet to formally celebrate it is an even bigger travesty!

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