How Am I Going To Survive This Summer?


New York PostDon’t be surprised if Slim Jims start disappearing from convenience store shelves — lovers of the dried meat snack may start stockpiling them now that production has been halted.

ConAgra, the maker of Slim Jim, hasn’t produced any new inventory since an explosion destroyed the only plant in the country that made the beef jerky treat in early June. Three people died in the incident, which appears to have been caused by a gas leak.

(CNN)A government advisory panel voted Tuesday to recommend eliminating prescription drugs that combine acetaminophen with narcotics — such as Vicodin and Percocet — because of their risk for overdose and for severe liver injury.

Welp, there goes my summer of fun.  Summertime means three things to me – Beer-B-Que Cookouts, Slim Jims, and Presecription Strength Painkillers.

And I’m no mathemitician here, but I’m pretty sure a freak factory explosion and the bitch ass FDA just cut down two legs of my tripod, rendering my summer ruined.

But these two American tragedies offer up a financially prosperous opportunity.

They say in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.

Well my friends they also say in the land devoid off dry meat sticks and prescription pain killers, the man who has been stockpiling Slim Jim and Vicodin is king.

For Sure Black Markets For Slim Jim and Pills.



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