Do I Seriously Still Have A Job?


It’s like I’m trying my hardest to NOT do a good job and they still keep me employed.  Unbelievable.  At this point I’m literally hiding work – stashing it in draws and various cubbies so that nobody can see it pile up on my desk.  How does that work ethic keep me employed?

See I had it all mapped out –

First, Establish a proper level of incompetence.  The last thing you wanna do is set the bar too high.  Then all the sudden you have the confidence of your superiors and they dole out more and more responsibility.

I say FSN to both of those things.  Instead, I put the bar on the groundI dig a trench and put the bar in it so that the bar is actually lower than the ground.  I go Bar-less.

Still maintain and display a delicate level of capabilty so they can’t fire you without severance, and then just wait it out.  Eventually your company will hit hard times, because virtually everyone else around you is trying to snake it just like you – this creates a terrible business model that will inevitably fail.

The key is too make sure you are just good enough to make it to the lay offs, and just bad enough that you’re first on the list to go.  Fine line my friends, fine line.

Ordinarily I’d say that getting laid off from a shitty job and snaking a little severance pay is a blessing in disguise, but F that – it’s not even incognito.  It’s right out there in the open, dressed up as an actual blessing, no disguise to see through.

Getting laid off for the summer has got to be the best thing going.



2 Responses to Do I Seriously Still Have A Job?

  1. cmac says:

    FS Bar-less

    office space was so much funnier circa 2003.

  2. Metz says:

    Yes it is…..

    yesterday i sat in a hot tub for three hours and then got a massage…

    the hardest part of my day is trying to make the PGA tour in tiger woods golf

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