So Carlos Beltran and John Maine might legit have Swine Flu. Whether its actually swine flu or not, bottom line is these guys can’t take the field cuz they will shit themselves.
When I first heard they were out with the flu I thought they were being pussies, but then I heard they weren’t able to leave the bathroom for more than like 30 seconds.
Imagine if a Major League Baseball player shit himself on the field? Imagine if John Maine tried to pitch the top of the 7th the other day, unloaded a fastball and took a dump in his pants?
What if Beltran dove for a ball and took a “double tapered shit” in his uniform? He’d have to pray for a fly ball to the warning track, dive and roll around, and blame his shitty ass on the dirt.
This classic George Brett video literally makes me laugh every single time.
“I’m good twice a year for that.”
For Sure NOT Shit Your Pants Twice A Year