The Road to the FSN Final Four is complete.
We begin with the Hanna Region champ:
#1. Jessica Rabbit
The Barbera Region Champ
#2. Lola Bunny
This is the undercard matchup of the Final Four, but still a clash of two very legit SS’s in it’s own right.
Lola was so sexy she was stringing along the Monstars on the hardwood.
But this is the Final 4 folks, and being a different species is a serious knock. Listen, I’m a human. And humans don’t fuck rabbits.
I mean, sure, if I was a bunny, Lola would be my number 1. But, if I were to become a bunny, all the other human SS’s probably wouldn’t want to F me.
So, you see, in order for Lola to be considered the Cartoon Smokeshow Champ, it would take sacrificing all other Cartoon SS’s. And I am For Sure NOT prepared to do that.
You had a good run, Lola, but a rabbit can only go so far. Call it discrimination if you want, but Jessica Rabbit and her human anatomy advance to the FSN Cartoon Smokeshow Championship Matchup
Moving to the right side of the bracket, we have the matchup the entire Nation has been waiting for. An Epic clash of two Disney SS Titans. Our Final Four Main Event.
In one corner, sporting her trademark ginger hair and her traditional sea shell bra, the Champion of the Betty Boop Region:
And in the other corner, in her traditional puffy blue Princess pants, with matching head band and her off the shoulder tank top, the Princess of Agrabah, and Champ of the Minnie Mouse Region
An epic theoretical smokeshow battle that has only been played out in the mind’s of young boys and immature men. Until now. The question of which Disney Princess is the hottest will be answered once and for all:
The tale of the tape:
Princess Jasmine – a 16 year old DIME PIECE. Heiress to unimaginable wealth, fortune and power. Bound by the cultural laws of the Middle East, meaning she will be subservient and will do your bidding. Also, I’m assuming the aforementioned Kingdom she inherits basically becomes yours cuz your a man.
Sick body, flat stomach, exotic look. EFFFF ESSSS.
The Little Mermaid Ariel – a 15 year old redhead, and heiress to the entire Sea. Almost always completely naked, with only a sea shell bra. Clearly all she wants to do is F, cuz she throws herself at that dude to make sure she pleases him in every way possible.
In what seems like an impossible choice, we need to dig deep here, Nation. We need to find the x factor, the one advantage that tips the scales in one direction or the other:
Ariel signed over her ability to speak to Ursula the Witch. And that means ZERO bitching and complaining. Also means she can’t say the word “No,” which more often than not is something a dude doesn’t wanna hear.
I like my women like I like my books:
Short, easy, and as few words as possible.
Underage chick redhead with a tight body, the inability to speak, and the power to rule over 75% of the planet earth once her dad kicks the bucket?
I think the decision has been made. In an absolute HEARTBREAKER for Jasmine, Ariel is crowned Queen of Disney SS’s and heads on to the Finals to meet Jessica Rabbit.
Who would have thought when we began this journey 2 weeks back, two gingers would meet in the Finals? In FSN Cartoon Smokeshow Madness, ANYTHING can happen.
For Sure Jessica Rabbit VS. Ariel