EL PASO, Texas – What do you call a high-five that misses? Many would just call it awkward, but an El Paso school principal calls it assault. The misfire came last week when schools superintendent Lorenzo Garcia was giving principals high-fives while celebrating state test scores. When Garcia came to Barron Elementary School principal Mary Helen Lechuga and she didn’t raise her hand, he tapped her on the head instead.
There is NOTHING worse than an awkward high five. Nothing. And ordinarily any time two high five participants are over the age of like 25 its guaranteed to be awkward.
The awkwardness begins when you are like 21 years old. Every now and then a situation presents itself where you are like “Well, I think I’m old enough to give this guy a real handshake, but in the past we’ve always dapped it up with your typical Arm Wrestling Grip followed by the Thumb War Grip”
So you go in for the Half Shake Half Dap and the indecision leads to two guys gripping hands like they each have lobster claws.
And then once you’re like 30+ you just start to get old and you lose your athleticism. I don’t know if it’s hand eye coordination or muscle memory or what, but you lose something in your old age that completely ruins any chance of a smooth high five.
I mean look at Tiger Fucking Woods. Dude is one of the greatest golfers of all time and he still can’t pull off the elusive high five.
Oh, and the moral of the story is, if you can’t get someone to do a high five, don’t tap them on the head and then get sued.
For Sure NOT High Five When You Are Old