If I had a nickel for every time a Native American defied her tribe to roll with my white ass, I’d have 35 cents. Seriously its happened to me 7 times. But none better than Pochahontas.
Daphne’s true colors began to show in this matchup – Just like FSN Nation member MV predicted, Daphne was acting like a tease. And you can scoot by rounds 1 and 2 teasing with your purple dress and your cute headband, but when the money’s on the line in the Sweet 16 that weak shit is getting sent home.
Meanwhile, Pochahontas is bringing Lewis AND Clark back to her teepee for some group fun and then “smoke-um peace pipe” afterwards.
Pochahontas’ dream continues, as our first #1 Seed is upset.
#6. St Pauli Girl
#2. Lola Bunny
Another nail biter here for Lola Bunny, coming off her unexpected Double OT Matchup with Esmerelda.
St. Pauli Girl – a buxom blond beer wench serving me booze in a pushup bra. What dude doesn’t like that?
Lola Bunny – Toned, Athletic SS who doesn’t mind rolling with guys who NEVER wear pants (i.e. Bugs Bunny) Also something that all guys will like.
This Sweet 16 battle comes down to versatility. St. Pauli Girl is simply too one dimensional. Literally.
Lola’s 3D sexiness comes to life on the Big Screen and heads on to the Elite 8
On to our final region for the Sweet 16 matchups, the Betty Boop Region
FSN Nation was torn down the middle in a matchup that has the talent of two Final Four competitors:
Thats about as 50/50 as it gets folks.
Ariel took down both California and New York, while Megara was able to lock up Texas and Florida.
As always, the outcome came down to swing state Ohio, which, unfortunately for all Megara lovers out there, voted Ariel.
I, for one, am sad to see Megara go. Fuck you Ohio. You always fuck up voting. I hope LeBron leaves.
Ariel moves on to the Elite 8, but Megara’s draft stock is through the ROOF. Top 5 pick overall in next year’s draft.
#2 Lara Croft
#3 Judy Jetson
Scandalous Sweet 16 Matchup! Lara Croft, who’s amatuer Cartoon SS Status was already called into question at the beginning of this tournament, has been accused of allegedy accepting gifts from Playstation alumni boosters in the form of 4,700 polygons from the years 1996-1997.
Lara Croft vehemently denies these allegations, stating that that drastic change in her appeareance is due to “eating healthier and working out every day.”
The FSN Committee released the following statement:
“It is unfortunate that such allegations have come to light during the FSN Cartoon Smokeshow Tournament. Unfortunately, at this time, not enough information is available to prove or disproved the accusations raised against Ms. Croft. While the Committee investigates this matter further, all scheduled smokeshow matchups will continue”
Judy Jetson on the matter:
“Yea I think its unfair. She [Croft] is running out there with 5,000 polygons. It’s not natural. How am I supposed to compete with that? I’m out there at 24 frames per second, but at least I can look myself in the mirror.”
Despite a venomous crowd tormenting the CGI SS, Lara Croft was STILL able to defeat Daughter Judy and advance to the Elite 8.
When asked if the allegations were true after the Sweet 16 matchup, Ms. Croft pointed a finger towards the sea of reporters and adamently stated
“Let me start by telling you this: I have NEVER used illegal polygons. Period.”
Despite the drama, Lara Croft* moves on.
The Elite 8 is set