Throwback of the Day – Top 5 Games Played with a Blue Ball
Back in the Juice Box Era, before Blue Balls meant something so so so terrible for men everywhere, a Blue Ball was completely essential to life on the playground.
1. “Butts Up”
(Much better picture than some fat kid getting pegged in the ass with a ball)
Or you may have called this game Redass, Suicide, Off the Wall, Wall Ball or a slew of other names.
I could play this game literally for hours on end. I can vividly recall the smell of a new Blue Ball and the popping sound is made as it whipped off the wall. I can remember running for dear life towards the wall anytime I bobbled the ball, full well knowing I was FS getting pegged in the back.
Getting bent over the wall after three outs was one of the more terrifying things a kid can experience in their childhood. The first couple kids would always miss, but you’d hear it wizz right past your F’n ear and you knew they were zeroing in. And then there was the one kid who was like 5 years older than you and the pitcher on the baseball team who would just ROCK you. Shot right to the back of the calf and you’re down for the count.
2. “Running Bases”
Was there an easier game than this? Pick two spots, and run in between them. Brilliant.
I was a master of cunning in this game. The ole’ fake the throw and draw all the mental midgets off the base and then peg the fuck out of them. And then when I was a runner the “AIRMAIL!” move knocking the throw away from the catcher. It wasn’t even fun to play with me I was so good.
3. “Hit the Blue Ball With an Aluminum Bat”
Holy shit this game fucking KILLED IT. I am pretty sure I could hit a Blue Ball 800 feet with an aluminum bat. Only thing was you were guaranteed to lose the ball err time you played.
The only game better than this was “Hit the Golf Ball With the Tennis Racket.” That shit went about a quarter of a mile and most likely hit small children or house windows.
4. “Stick Ball”
Now, I’m no guinea from 1950’s Brooklyn, so I never dabbled in stick ball. But I’m sure that shit was pretty fun. Still would rather just rocked it as far as I could with a normal bat.
5. “Off the Roof”
Pretty sure I just made this game up, but I told you top 5 games, so I needed a fifth. We used to just throw the ball up onto a slanted roof and catch it once it rolled off. This would last about 10 throws, before the ball inevitably got caught in the Skybounce Graveyard – the dreaded gutter.
Yea I guess that game pretty much sucks but it woulda sucked if I was like “Top 4 Games to Play with a Blue Ball.”
Ah those were the days. I’d probably give up a paycheck to put a few of my bosses up on the wall and peg the bluck out of them.
For Sure Blue Balls.
Funny how after the age of 14 that is a SERIOUS FSN. But in this context, it’s FS an FS.
** Update – Great to hear I wasn’t the only one who played Off the Roof. I was convinced FSN Nation was gonna be like what the fuck is this kid talking about? But errbody in the comments section let me know Off the Roof was legit.