West Valley School District officials are investigating an Apple Valley Elementary teacher for sending a 5-year-old boy home with a bag of human feces.

School officials plan to meet with the boy’s parents tonight about the incident, which happened Friday.

The boy’s mother checked his backpack after he got home from school and found a plastic bag containing human feces inside with a sticky note attached that read “This little turd was found on the floor of my room,” said his father, Jason Morrow.

This is one of those stories that is so completely preposterous, so completely outrageous, that you gotta think that this little fucker deserved it.

I mean ordinarily my kid is gonna get the benefit of the doubt any time they get in trouble.  But if some teacher takes the time out of their day to plant shit in my kid’s backpack, craft a hand written note, commit career suicide, and probably face some jail time, I’m pretty sure I’m siding with them.

I mean what are teacher’s truly imparting when all their students are 5 years old?  They aren’t going over Hemingway’s use of literary dialogue.  They aren’t teaching how to find the area under a curve.

They are teaching kids the basics – don’t piss your pants, and don’t shit on the floor.

Well clearly, little Jimmy Morrow got a  “U” – Unsatisfactory – on his Kindergarten Report Card in the Don’t Shit on the Floor Department.

Just think of that bag and note as a Interim Progress Report.

For Sure NOT.

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