Dear Amy: My girlfriend and I have been together more than two years. We deeply love each other, but lately there has been a lot of conflict.
First of all, I am an addict. I have been smoking marijuana for five years and have no intention of quitting unless my life depends on it.
Second, I don’t enjoy being told what to do. I’m 19 years old and I’m letting her stay in “my” apartment. Since when does she control my life?
She thinks it’s OK to schedule events without even asking me whether I am interested.
My girlfriend is also a very negative person. She worries about worst-case scenarios and always overreacts when anything goes wrong. Whenever I try to bring something up, she will shut me down.
I really want to fix our problem but don’t know really whether it’s worth it. I don’t know what to do, so can you give me advice?
Amy wrote back some garbage about how marijuana impairs your judgment, and thats why he has prioritized weed over his girlfriend and blah, BLAH, F’N BLAHHHHHHH.
F Amy, it’s all about Ask FSN.
So, “Miserable,” here’s what Dr. FSN has to say:
I recommend you stop being such a faggot. Let me get this straight, you like getting baked out of your mind more than listening to your girlfriend complaining incessantly? JOIN THE REST OF THE F’N MEN OF THE WORLD.
Doing shit you don’t want to do and listening to shit you don’t want to hear is basically what having a girlfriend is. That’s it. I don’t know how they have managed to do it, but the broads of the world have tricked lots of suckers into this agreement. Its like some sort of sorcery.
So, there are two constants in this situation – “Miserable” is FSN giving up the chronic any time soon, and “Miserable’s Girlfriend” certianly isn’t going to stop yapping.
Two Tickets to the FSKY Jungle.
Quit writing letters to advice columns dude.
~ Shout out to the Big Village for the link