Ladies and Gentleman, we have our First Ever inductee to the FSN Train Wreck Hall of Fame!

Demetrious Soupolos and his wife Traute wanted desperately to have child, however they were unsuccesful in their attempts, as Demetrious was diagnosed as sterile. So, like any rational husband, Demetrious decided they should visit fertility clinics, contact sperm banks, and explore adoption to pay his neighbor $2,500 to F his wife all day err day.

“Since Maus [the neighbor] was already married and the father of two children…the plan seemed good.”

Obviously! Why shit on the boundaries of one conventional marriage and family when you can shit on two!

So, Maus probably lit some candles, did his dirty, 1, 2 MAYBE 3 times in order to try and get Traute knocked up, right? FSN.

Maus F’d Traute three nights a week for SIX MONTHS straight, totalling 72 times.  There are husbands EVERYWHERE all over the world who don’t get to have sex with their OWN wives that often.

Frank Maus’ wife eventually was like “what the fuck? stop F’ing her you’ve done it like 72 times.” To which Frank replied with maybe the greatest one liner any Neighbor-Banging Husband has ever uttered:

“I don’t like this anymore than you do.  I’m simply doing it for the free money.  Try and understand.”

So wow that was a WACKY story, right?  I mean it must have been weird when they stopped and then they just had to go back to being normal “Let’s Pretend You Never Fucked My Wife” Neighbors.  For Sure NOT.

Demetrious demanded that Good Ole Frankie No Sperm be examined, and the doctor determined that he, too, was sterile.

For Sure NOT possible to Father Two Children When You Are Sterile.

Frank’s wife confessed that both his kids were not his.

Oh, and Demetrious is taking Frank to court because he didn’t hold up his end of the bargain.  Frank’s defense is he only said he’d give it “an honest effort.”

J Christ I’d love to be “giving an honest” effort as much as Frank.

For Sure First Ballot Train Wreck

~ Shout out to Catino Mobley for the link

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