A monkey who tired of being forced to climb trees to pick coconuts killed his owner with a well-aimed coconut…The victim’s wife Uthai said they had bought the monkey for about £130.  ‘It seemed lovable. We called him Brother Kwan,’ she said.

Well everyone knows that if you want a Well Tempered Coconut Retrieving Monkey from Thailand, you gotta pay at LEAST £150.  You get what you pay for, baby.

Brother Kwan absolutely SHITS on Travis the Chimp.  Fuck all that brute force and face mauling…that is antiquated monkey violence.  Brother Kwan represents a new wave of the monkey threat.  Using keen intellect and sniper tactics like a guerrilla atop 50 meter trees.  Get ready for Planet of the Apes, folks.  After the economy fully collapses and we live in the Post Apocalyptic World, I think we all know who our true enemy is.

For Sure Monkeys

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