Police say a pet chimpanzee got loose Monday afternoon and violently attacked a woman.

If I had a nickel for every time I lost control of my chimpanzee and lost a brutal battle of hand to hand combat with it…I would have zero fucking nickels because I rule my pet chimpanzees with an Iron Fist and always keep them in check.

It’s like the old saying goes “If you can’t keep your pet chimps under control and/or beat them in a fist fight after they go wild, then you simply shouldn’t own one.”

Critical condition and severe injuries from your turncoat chimp?


~ Shout out to Dilbert for the link

Update – Travis the Monkey was toilet trained, dressed himself, and knew how to use a fucking computer!  Well, i just went from having zero sympathy for the owners too negative.  When you train a 200 lbs primate to the point that he is self aware and understands the physical edge he has over his human keepers, you are just asking to get mauled.

Its like when Skynet achieved sentience in the Terminator.

For Sure Inevitable


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