I was watching Professional Bowling over the weekend, cuz I’m the coolest fucking kid alive.  Along the way, I stumbled upon a chick who looked pretty decent, so then I looked up all the female bowlers.  Again, fucking cool.

Luckily for the masses, I found Clara Guerrero, the 26 year old Columbian dime piece.  Now, ordinarily speaking, Clara is not a full blown smokeshow.  She’s certainly an attactive woman.  However, once you factor in the Ugly Friend Factor, Guerrero essentially becomes the Megan Fox of Professional Bowling.

Guerrero is like the 200 pound girl at fat camp.  Relative to the company she keeps, she’s top notch.  When you competitors look like this:

For Sure Dyke
For Sure Fat even by Fat Camp Standards

Guerrero is like the hottest thing to ever walk the Earth.

The U.F.F. is scale that begins at 1, and usually ranges no further than -2/+2.  If you hang out with chicks equally as hot as you, everything evens out.  If you hang out with chicks who are hotter than you, your UFF is a negative number which you multiply with your rating on a scale of 1 to 10, which adjusts for deflation given the smokeshows you stupidly surround yourself with.

In this case, we’ll say Guerrero is a even 7 out of ten.  Judging by the fat dumpster and butch lesbian she’s constanly surrounded by, I’d assgn her a +1.4 UFF.  7 x 1.4 UFF leads to a 9.8 out of 10.  Relatviely speaking, this chick is almost a bonafide 10.

You see, it’s science really.

For Sure Ugly Friend Factor.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: