February 28, 2009

February 28, 2009

February 27, 2009

Behold!  FSN’s Mount Rushmore of Sports!

I thought I’d chime in on ESPN’s latest stupid and asinine idea.

1. Otis fucking Nixon.  Quite possible the ugliest human to ever walk the face of the earth.  Often confused with for NBA SUPERSTAR Tyrone Hill and Lord of the Rings’ Gollum, this ugly motherfucker made the final out of the 1992 World Series trying to bunt his way on.

2. DANTE BICHETTE.  First of all, if you can just say the name DANTE BICHETTE and not laugh something is wrong with you.  Did you know in 1995 Dante’s Inferno almost won the Triple Crown batting .340 with 40 bombs and 128 batted in?  For SURE.

3. Gheorghe Muresan – Gheorghey was a 7ft 7in freakshow and is quite unfortunate looking.  Gheorghe is one of the few people who is offensively ugly.  He should have one an MVP in my book, and an Oscar for his role in My Giant

4. Popeye Jones – He looks like Nosferatu and his name is fucking POPEYE.  Of course he should be immortalized on a fictional mountain of sports icons.

For Sure Mount Rushmore

February 27, 2009

Today, I found out my agent turned down a deal to pay me $45,000,000 for a 2nd time. FML.


February 27, 2009

This picture needs more commentary.


~ Shout out to the BlogOfHilarity for this one

February 27, 2009

Defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth will become a $100 million man with the Washington Redskinson Friday barring any last-minute complications, according to his agent.

7 year deal $100 Million deal with FORTY ONE MILLION DOLLARS GUARANTEED.


If the object of football was to step on peoples faces than this contract is reasonable.

However, that is not the case. Also, another thing not conducive to playing football well is DYING WHEN YOU ARE 30 CUZ YOU ARE 600 POUNDS.

For Sure NOT worth this contract

~ Shout out to the Garbagman for the link

February 27, 2009

NEW ORLEANS – A Louisiana woman is accused of trading two young children in her care for a pet cockatoo and $175 cash from a couple who had been trying for years to have their own child, authorities said Thursday.

Holy shit that’s the steal of the century! This shit is better than the Mexican man who sold his daughter for meat, beer and gatorade

So lets walk through the timeline of these negotiations:

9:00PM: Donna Greenwell – Gimme $2,000 and I’ll give you the boy AND the girl

9:00PM and 32 Seconds: Romero Couple – That’s too much we can’t afford that.

9:01PM: Donna Greenwell – Alright gimme the bird and we’ll call it a day.


Last time I checked, the going rate for a human baby was AT LEAST 2 Parakeets and a hamster.  And, if you want TWO babies, 1 boy and 1 girl, YOU BETTER BELIEVE I’m getting a pet turtle in that fucking deal.  None of this cockatoo shit.  Everyone knows a cockatoo is inferior to a parakeet.

1 cockatoo and $175 is like “a player to be named later and cash considerations.”  10 Honor Credits to the married couple who negotiated this HEIST.  If there were an award for “Best Couple in the Human Trafficking Industry” they’d get a first place vote on my ballot.

For Sure NOT trade a human for a cockatoo.