(CNN)It took about 110 years and some delicate surgery on his most private parts, but Henry — a lizard-like creature from New Zealand — is now a dad. (http://www.cnn.com/2009/TECH/science/01/29/lizard.reproduces/index.html?iref=mpstoryview)

It’s official.  The sky is fucking falling and the world is coming to an end.  CNN is writing about 200 year old lizard-dinosaurs F’ing.

“Friday morning, Hazley was working to install a camera so Henry’s international fan base can watch him and other tuataras on the Internet. But they shouldn’t expect any images of the proud dad playing with his batch of hatchlings.”

International fucking fan base??? What the SHIT is going on?

Oh, also, VOLCANOS ARE FUCKING ERUPTING:

For Sure Erupt

(CNN)Mount Redoubt, the Alaskan volcano expected to erupt at any time, is getting a bit more edgy. Peter Cervelli, a research geophysicist with the observatory, told CNN that “every indication is that we’re heading toward an eruption.” (http://www.cnn.com/2009/TECH/science/01/30/alaska.volcano/index.html?iref=mpstoryview)

Seriously, this is it folks.  Sharpen your skills with a sword and hammer.  Raise livestock and till the land.  Financial cunning will mean nothing in this post apocalyptic world of dinosaurs and volcanos.

Things are FOR SURE NOT going well in the world.

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