FSN Rookie of the Year

Rookie of the Year – Jennifer Love Hewitt – 1995 – Party of Five

After a strong minor league career which was highlighted by her role as Sister Margaret in Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit, FOX Networks traded up in the 95 draft to select Jennifer Hewitt.  FOX management quickly remarketed the young actress as Jennifer Love Hewitt, and placed her in the role of Sarah Reeves on the drama “Party of Five.”  In a series that featured 90s sensation Neve Campbell, Lacey Chabert, and Jack Shephard, I mean Matthew Fox, Love Hewitt went on to have the most successful career.  After the FOX drama, the smokeshow brunette quietly dominated the late 90s. She was Captain of her own FOX spin off, Time of Your Life, after which the coaching
staff reworked JLH’s offensive scheme to gear her more towards the Big Screen.

With a run of Can’t Hardly Wait, I Know What You Did Last Summer, and I Still Know What You Did Last Summer, rumors began to swirl about the actress’s ability to switch her game so easily.  Like Bonds switching from lead off to clean up, Hollywood became skeptical as to whether Love Hewitt was using any performance enhancing supplements

Slanderous rumors reached their peak in 2001, when the actress played the role of Page Connors in the movie “Heartbreakers” and looked IMPOSSIBLY HOT:

For Sure Pink Dress
For Sure Gray Dress

Competitors everywhere wondered, “How could homely Jennifer Hewitt from Sister Act be so fucking hot in Heartbreakers?”  Love Hewitt responded to her critics by saying “Im a smokeshow brunette with huge tits and a tiny waist, suck it.”

On the tail end of her career, JLH did little to disprove the rumors that tainted her prime.  Earning the nickname Jennifer Love Chewitt and gaining what seemed like three hundred and forty pounds:

For Sure Chewitt

her dumpy twilight years only gives more creedance to the accusations of the late 90s.  To this day, Jennifer Love Hewitt has never tested positive for any banned substances.  And her role in Heartbreakers, despite the looming possibilty that it was in fact tainted, remains a legendary performance for smokeshow enthusiasts everywhere.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: