FSN Rookie of the Year

Rookie of the Year, 1998 – Lindsay Lohan, The Parent Trap

In 1992, Lohan was a drafted in the 6th round by Late Nite With David Letterman director Hal Gurnee for the episode filmed on October 29th of that same year.  Gurnee cast the 6 yr old sleeper as the role of “Trick-or-treater Dressed as Garbage.”  Gurnee never anticipated the having such a profound impact on her career, as nearly 17 years later, Lindsay Lohan is still bascially that same exact character.  Only she’s not acting.

“I know it sounds crazy, Gurnee recalls. “But I took one look at her pasty skin covered in smears of freckles with her ratty red hair, and I thought ‘this girl has potential to become a Hollywood smokeshow being stalked by paparrazzi for her curious decisions to sleep with transsexual DJs”

After her performance in The Parent Trap, one talent scout, who wanted to remain anonymous, was quoted as saying “stick a fork in this one, she’s done.  She was way to cute and turned in way too good of a performance.  She’ll go on to college, fall in love and raise a family.  Such a shame really.”

Over a decade later though, Lohan has proved the nay-sayers wrong.  Exposing her vagina, blowing tons of coke and penis, and struggling to come to terms with her sexuality because of the obligatory Daddy Issues every Hollywood whore must have, deep down, she always has been, and always will be, a Trick-or-Treater Dressed as Garbage:

For Sure Garbage

For Sure Trick.

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